t minus 10 hours

Wow. Three long months of waiting is finally here.  I can't believe in a few hours I will be at the Missionary Training Center, waiting to start my new adventure to teach and spread this wonderful gospel.  The Lord works in mysterious ways.  I'm so grateful where I am right now, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.  To be set apart as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints tonight was a surreal thing.  Although I don't necessarily feel different right now, I know I need to step up to the plate and be the best I can be for the Lord.
I would LOVE to hear from you guys!
Either write me on www.dearelder.com  (it's free while I'm in the MTC or just the price of a stamp when I'm in the field.)  or here is my address for at least three weeks, but I'm thinking it will be four.

Sister Chelsey LaVoye Baker
MTC mailbox 155
NE-OMA 1108
2005 N 900 E
Provo, UT 84604-1793

Here's to the next 18 months! Hopefully I will be able to do what the Lord needs me to do.  I pray I will be able to answer this call faithfully and honorably.

Thank you all for being so amazing!  My mission blog which will be updated with my letters is

sisterchelseybaker.blogspot.com

A look back...and a smile forward!

It's my 100th post!  I can't believe i've made it to this point! I wanted to just take a look back on this year.  When I started this blog in April, I just wanted it to be a private online journal, viewable to only me, to get my frustrations out. I was hurt, sad, frustrated, confused, and almost every other emotion. But since then I've grown, and the hurt has been replaced by peace, and joy, and I don't have to be embarrassed by what's happened to me.  Just embrace it and let it help shape me into the person I'm becoming.  I found this quote on Pinterest, and it sums everything up, like only the way quotes can do.

via

I've learned so much about myself since God told me "no."  I've learned what I can handle, and that I can handle SO much more than I ever thought possible; and I can handle it and use it to build me up instead of down.  I've learned when we follow what Heavenly Father wants for us, we can be so much happier than we ever thought possible.  When my fiance and I broke up, I thought my world was ending.  All my plans for the future were taken away from me in a matter of minutes. No matter how much I kept reminding myself that it was the right thing, {and I knew it was the right thing to do} it still hurt like nothing I've ever felt before.

 I have never questioned so much in my life. 

WHY did this have to happen to me. Am I not doing what I'm supposed to? We weren't doing anything wrong!  It's our choice isn't it? What did I do to deserve this?  Am I not good enough to marry him?  I'm never going to find anyone that I love as much as him, why did this have to happen to me? What is wrong with me?

It was not a fun few months.  Yet, laced with all the questions and hurt was peace, and moments of happiness.  It was the little moments, the tender mercies of the Lord, that helped me through.  It's amazing how a little moment of peace, a little ray of light can push through all the darkness to give you strength for a little while.  To give you that extra push to get up in the morning, and put a smile on your face.  I have never been so blessed and looked after as I was during those next few months, and even now, now that I've truly .  I learned to truly turn to my Heavenly Father and Savior to find my peace, to just let the past go, learn all I could from it, and move forward looking brightly into the future. 

I'm not saying I handled it perfectly.  There were moments where I just wanted to give up, and there were moments I did.  To just mope around all day eating ice cream and comfort foods. I didn't want to go to work, or church or anywhere in public. It was so hard to face all the questions, reliving the story all the time, even though people were just being well meaning. I would get so angry sometimes, so easily and the littlest things would frustrate me to no end.  But something was always there, at the precise moment I needed it, to take my hand and guide me through.  When I could barely make it through a day, he sent my eye doctor, of all people. He sent me two new friends that changed my summer. He sent me simple moments when I didn't even know I would need them.  Even on the day I was supposed to be getting sealed for time and all eternity I was especially not left alone.  It's amazing how the Lord sends others to do put their arms around us when He can't do it himself.  Have you ever heard the poem, "Footprints in the Sand." ?  I'm sure you have, but now you should listen to it. :)

The decision to go on a mission was also a real struggle.  I didn't want to go at first, in the least bit. But then I got an answer that I should go, and I went full steam ahead and just wanted to leave. I wasn't waiting for anything and nothing could stop me. But I was trying to do things way too fast, and in my own time frame and I wondered why nothing was working out. {and I couldn't see this why? lol. Hindsight is always 20/20 like they say.}   I went back and forth so much {over the course of two and a half months} that it was making me sick. But it was when I finally just calmed down and learned some patience that I knew I needed to slow down, and things will work out like they're supposed to, as long as I'm trying to do what's right and what I'm supposed to. And suddenly, I wasn't scared anymore. I was so excited! It was a peaceful feeling, instead of the rushed feeling. The night I turned my papers in was such a turning point for me.  I felt like my Heavenly Father was so proud of me, and let me tell you, nothing can compare to that feeling, nothing.  And now that I only have 19 days left till I leave, that peace that I've made the right decision has only grown.  I knew at first I needed to go on a mission, but I'm so glad I'm going now, and not then.  I knew I wouldn't have come home because I was sad or anything, but I needed to grow a little more, and have a few more experiences so that I could fully serve the Lord in the full capacity that He needs me to.

 I'm so grateful for God's"redirection" in my life! As much as I loved this boy and wanted to marry him, I'm so grateful we're not married, and that we both listented to those promptings!  Even though I believe we could have had a great marriage, God has different things in store for both of us, and His plan is always the better one. I've learned that God teaches us line upon line, and in His way.  I've learned that His way of teaching us always is for our benefit, and never to mock us or hurt us.  It's not about what we want, or what we think would be best for us at the moment. If we truly let ourselves be led by Him, our mistakes will never be to our detriment, only our aid, and our triumphs will be expounded upon us more wonderfully than we can comprehend. We are being prepared for eternal salvation, and I hope I can always look at my trials with a smile on my face and a faith that I am becoming the daughter He wants me to be.

Gee whiz if you made it to the end, thank you for reading! I write all this so that I can remember. This has been a big journey for me, and I'm grateful I can look back with a smile, and look forward to my new adventures with an even bigger smile.  Life is wonderful! Keep smiling :)

My first crochet project!

Earlier this year, Kc taught me how to crochet. We had a fabulous evening of crocheting, and watching disney. Yes, we watched like four hours of the suite life of Zach and Cody. Don't judge :)
That was April.  I haven't really done anything since with it.  I just haven't had the urge to make something, and to make anything cooler than a straight, square blanket is way out of my league.  But with my mission coming up I knew I needed something warm, and I wanted to have a project to keep me busy for the next six weeks! So I decided to make a scarf! One of the ones where it's a circle and it's a little baggy.  It started out slow, and I forgot to take pics along the way, but here's the finished project.

And because of a 12 hr shift where there was nothing to do, I finished it in less than a week instead of six, buuut guess that just means there is room for another project.  What should I make??

What I think I want now? or what I want most..

I've learned something this last month about true happiness, and the choices we make. 
Richard G. Scott, {an apostle from my church} said it perfectly.

"Discipline is that characteristic which will give you the strength to avoid giving up what you want most in life for something you think you want now."  

August was a month of completely new experiences for me.  Some that have never come up before in my life, seriously. never.  It was amazing to watch myself! Things I had never questioned before started to come up again and want to be questioned.  It made me mad at myself but yet, I almost couldn't help it. It consumed my thoughts.  For at least a good three solid weeks I struggled.  Mind you, this was all in my head. I hadn't physically done anything to make me mad at myself.  For that, I was grateful to myself. Grateful I didn't have to deal with that as well.  But the fact that I was wanting to give into the temptations. That I was dwelling on these things enough to the point of seriously considering.  That was bad enough for me. 

It finally came to a head tonight. I realized that I needed to stop sitting on the fence- go one way or the other.  I wasn't accomplishing anything by doing what I was doing.  And after a few moments of revelation which I did not deserve, I remembered what it is I believe in, what I've always believed in, and what wouldn't let me give into the temptations in the first place..and I jumped back in with both feet.  As much as it makes me mad at myself for dwelling like I did, I'm very grateful for the experience. I now know how I react to different situations, and I know I'll have an easier time disciplining myself and remembering "what I want most in life", and not giving it up for "what I think I want now."

Satan is real. And I know my decision to go on a mission has made him work all the harder on me.  But I also know how real my Heavenly Father and Savior are, and just how much stronger I am when I rely on them, and they are on my side. 

 "And if our God is for us,

then who could ever stop us.

And if our God if with us,

 then what could stand against."

-Chris Tomlin Our God

Yes, going on a mission has made me more fashionable :)

Last weekend my mom and I traveled to Orem to the Sister Missionary Mall to find my mission clothes..( i Leave in SIX weeks! aH!) I was having a hard time finding longer, cute skirts, and from snooping, I realized that this place actually had cute stuff!  I also met the most ADORABLE girl who helped me to yes, become more fashionable on my mission. 

 *Wait!!*, 

aren't sister missionaries only supposed to dress in dark colors with frumpy vests and suit jackets with no cuteness at all?  

That's what I thought at least.  

WRONG!

The handbook says pretty much that you can wear whatever you want as long as it's modest.  The skirts just have to be covering your knees when sitting and standing, and not revealing up top at all, and a little longer on the sleeves than a short cap sleeve.  

As awesome as this is, there are so many options!!  I had picked out a couple things before we went up north but we definitely hit the jack pot.  They had some cute stuff, and with the help of some cute girls that worked there I seriously feel so good about my wardrobe.  

I've never been one for scarves, or belts, or high heels or anything like that. I mean, I don't feel like I dress frumpy or anything, but I guess I'm just not confident enough to pull those things off.  But going on my mission has made me change my mind about those things.  I want to be more fashionable, and wear those things and know I can pull them off just like any other girl. And after trying on a few things, I can!  I have never felt more cute in my life.  

As I was looking in the mirror after trying on one outfit, I was telling the girl how I want to be more stylish, and a mission is making me do that. 

She started laughing and said, 

"I love how a mission is making you more fashionable."   

{referring to how most girls think they are still pretty strict/frumpy on their missions. even with these new rules}

We both laughed.  My mom and I were in there for 4 1/2 hrs.  But I've not had that much fun shopping in a long time.

 Shoes...SOOOOO expensive.  But, if my feet aren't going to hurt for the next year and a half then they're worth it.  they're not tooo bad right?

 Belts like these!  I need a black one, and a cream one I'm thinking?  I have fallen in love with belts, I used to not care for them.

 Here are most of my clothes... I just need a few more blouses!

 All my scarves!  Does anyone know where to get ones that are just for fashion? That hang around your neck loosely but aren't super long?  They're almost a full circle I think, then a scarf.  I would love to know!

Only six more weeks. . . the time seriously could not be going slower.

Dear Future Companions...

      I was thinking about you guys today, and how EXCITED I am to meet all of you!  I cannot wait to have (insert number of companions I'll have) new best friends.

I just wanted to write you all a little letter to explain what I'm thinking before we go through the stages of not being able to stand each other sometimes {I sincerely hope there is none of this, but 27/7 togetherness, well ya never know.}, the amazing spiritual times {I hope there are MANY of these}, the hard times {we can get through them! How blessed we are!}, the laughter times {please, let's laugh in all appropriate times, and at ourselves because we'll all be learning together}, the tour times {let's make every tour we can unforgettable}, and the study times {by small and simple means are great things brought to pass.  line upon line. :) }...and all other times that will come up!

     I've been getting a little nervous, as I've started to read/study PMG a little bit.  Study this, remember that, study this a little deeper, remember, now have you thought about what you studied today??  I'm a very black and white person when it comes to the gospel sometimes, and I get overwhelmed a little when I feel like I can't do everything that's asked of me, even when I so desperately want to.  But I have faith that we will work together, you'll help me {especially at first, sorry senior companions! I hope i don't ask too many questions haha}, and I'll hopefully help you in some form.

     I'm so excited to give tours! And to learn more about the pioneers who gave so much for us to be here!  I can't wait to learn all the little stories with you guys, and to make every person who goes through the visitor center, hopefully feel the spirit very strong.

    I'm warning you, I LOVE to take pictures. So please, just humor me if I want to take tons of random things.  I love documenting those memories.  I hope on P-days, we get everything done that we have to and find lots of things to do that we want to!  Even if it's just a little picnic or something.  I hope we get to go to the temple a couple times!  I most of all hope that we can finish what the Lord wants us to accomplish while we are out in the mission field.

    I'm sure you sisters are gorgeous, smart, talented, the list could go on and on, and I know it will be such a privilege to have been able to work with you closely.

See ya in the MTC and field!
love,
Sister Baker

I love to see the temple

On July 15, 2011 I became an endowed member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. <3

What a great blessing!  I was planning on going through the temple in St. George. I wanted all my friends to be there since I don't have hardly any family that can go in the temple, and I LOVE the STG temple, and I had made up my mind when I first started thinking about a mission.  But a week or so before I left for Florida for vacation, I thought again that I should go through the Orlando temple while we're down there so that my grandparents don't have to fly back out here.  ( I had thought of this idea before but hadn't wanted to, so I had forgotten about it.) So I call my bishop, and he said that the stake president wouldn't give me my recommend until I actually had my call.  (this was before I got my call, obviously. ;) ) Well we had this big plan. . . my step grandma was going to overnight my call to me if it came while we were gone, and the bishop/stake president said that they would ship me a temple recommend if that did happen.  It was going to be an epic project haha. But my call came the day before we left!  And that night I got in with my bishop AND stake president (so blessed) and I officially held my recommend. 

It was so amazing just to have it in my hands. Then, I actually got to go through.  And feel the peace everyone talks about is there. The still, meek, comforting feeling.  That is the Lord's house on earth.  I promised, and was promised many things, most of which I don't remember, (TONS of information), but I can't wait to go back and feel all of that again. 

Full Circle

"What if your blessings come from raindrops.  What if your healing comes through tears.  What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near. What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life, are the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy.  What if trials of this life The rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are your mercies in disguise."

It's amazing how much this song has stuck to me, and become to embody my life ever since the end of March.  Although I always try to see past just the lyrics themselves, I haven't quite gotten to understand all of these. But this song, has never failed to edify me.  To give me strength to go on.  To bring a peace to my aching heart in those times of need.  And tonight, it all is coming clear.  I can't begin to describe how much this song means to me.  Through the struggle of my life crashing down, and my heart being so broke, to the healing that only time, faith, hope, and power from above can bring.

My papers are in y'all.  Let the guessing begin. 

 Where in the world will Chelsey be going??

{smile so big you can see it from China}