What I think I want now? or what I want most..

I've learned something this last month about true happiness, and the choices we make. 
Richard G. Scott, {an apostle from my church} said it perfectly.

"Discipline is that characteristic which will give you the strength to avoid giving up what you want most in life for something you think you want now."  

August was a month of completely new experiences for me.  Some that have never come up before in my life, seriously. never.  It was amazing to watch myself! Things I had never questioned before started to come up again and want to be questioned.  It made me mad at myself but yet, I almost couldn't help it. It consumed my thoughts.  For at least a good three solid weeks I struggled.  Mind you, this was all in my head. I hadn't physically done anything to make me mad at myself.  For that, I was grateful to myself. Grateful I didn't have to deal with that as well.  But the fact that I was wanting to give into the temptations. That I was dwelling on these things enough to the point of seriously considering.  That was bad enough for me. 

It finally came to a head tonight. I realized that I needed to stop sitting on the fence- go one way or the other.  I wasn't accomplishing anything by doing what I was doing.  And after a few moments of revelation which I did not deserve, I remembered what it is I believe in, what I've always believed in, and what wouldn't let me give into the temptations in the first place..and I jumped back in with both feet.  As much as it makes me mad at myself for dwelling like I did, I'm very grateful for the experience. I now know how I react to different situations, and I know I'll have an easier time disciplining myself and remembering "what I want most in life", and not giving it up for "what I think I want now."

Satan is real. And I know my decision to go on a mission has made him work all the harder on me.  But I also know how real my Heavenly Father and Savior are, and just how much stronger I am when I rely on them, and they are on my side. 

 "And if our God is for us,

then who could ever stop us.

And if our God if with us,

 then what could stand against."

-Chris Tomlin Our God