wedding dress FOR SALE

{sorry, some days I get post happy because I have a lot to say and I work 12 hrs at night with almost nothing to do. please forgive.}

I bought my wedding dress March 12, 2011. I seriously got the best deal on it, and i was in love. I looked SO pretty in it. It made me have the girly figure I've always wanted and I just felt like a princess.  Well, as most of you know, two weeks later about we broke up.  And since then, I haven't really looked at it. It's been hanging up in my room. . . in the bag.  

But my mom needs the money she put towards it.  So we have to sell it. I don't think I could keep it and wear it at my wedding anyways, that was Marshall's dress, ya know? So today, we took it out and took pictures in it so she can put it on Craigs List.  

I forgot how pretty it was, and how much I loved it.  

Kind of melancholy, to say the least.  But, it's all good. The Lord has a plan for me, and I know if I follow it, I will be happy beyond belief. :)

Sooo, if you or anyone you know are looking for a gorgeous dress, please email me, or comment here!! 

I don't know if you can beat this deal.  

• B-E-A-utiful dress!   Size: 12  
• White in color, with an organza overlay with beading work (but not overly so). shirred down an angle from chest to waist.  It's a strapless dress, I was going to have a shrug made for it, but everything happened before that could be done.    
• crinoline under skirt
• beautiful bead/pearl headband
• bag(to put dress in)
• Absolutely most gorgeous veil I've ever seen. (I seriously love this veil, and it matches PERFECTLY with the dress.)

PRICE:

$600 -EVERTHING included!

BACK VIEW WITH TRAIN FULLY LAID OUT

FRONT WITH VEIL ON.  CRINOLINE SKIRT MAKES THE DRESS A LITTLE MORE FULL IN THE BOTTOM.  I WAS NOT WEARING THE SKIRT IN THE PICTURES.

ANOTHER FRONT VIEW WITH TRAIN TWISTED AROUND. THE CRINOLINE UNDERSKIRT REALLY MAKES THE DRESS POOF OUT JUST ENOUGH.  (I DON'T HAVE THE SKIRT ON IN THESE PICS.)

CLOSE UP VIEW OF TOP. THE DRESS CAME WITH STRAPS. BUT WE GOT THE DRESS ON THE SALE RACK AND ONE OF THE STRAPS IS BROKEN, BUT THE DRESS HOLDS UP REALLY WELL WITHOUT THEM, AND THEY WOULD PROBABLY BE REALLY EASY TO CUT OFF.  

THE BEAUTIFUL HEADBAND.  WITH RHINESTONES/PEARLS/BEADS.

CLOSE UP VIEW OF THE VEIL. IT SERIOUSLY GOES SO WELL WITH THE BEADING OF THE DRESS.

CLOSE UP OF THE BEADWORK DESIGN ON THE BOTTOM OF THE DRESS.  (ON THE ORGANZA LAYER)

JUST ONE MORE CLOSE UP OF VEIL AND DRESS.

so if you know anyone, it would be greatly appreciated :)

my email is

 smileatlife89@yahoo.com

THANKS GIRLIES!

Life should be a PARTY!

Mondays are usually the drab days of the week, right?  School/work/day to day life starts again, and sometimes it can be a real bummer.  

"just another manic monday."

 haha 80's flashback. awesome.

Anyway, this cute girl had the best idea here! Why not celebrate the good we all have in our lives, and try really hard to remember them on the day most people dread the most.

Voila!

 I found a quote that said,

There are exactly as many special occasions in life as we choose to celebrate. ~Robert Brault

This quote makes me smile.  We shouldn't wait to wear that new dress we bought until a "special occasion." We should get dressed up to go grocery shopping, just for the heck of it.  The list could go on and on.  Life can have so many more special moments than the big obvious ones if we choose to make everything a celebration, or a party. :) 

I'm so excited to start this!  Join!  Go HERE to get the button or to read more about it.  So every monday, I'm going to celebrate something good in my life. (or at least blog about it. I want to celebrate everyday. haha )  

Can you think of a good reason not to celebrate all the good things in life??

I sure can't.

:)

Full Circle

"What if your blessings come from raindrops.  What if your healing comes through tears.  What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near. What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life, are the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy.  What if trials of this life The rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are your mercies in disguise."

It's amazing how much this song has stuck to me, and become to embody my life ever since the end of March.  Although I always try to see past just the lyrics themselves, I haven't quite gotten to understand all of these. But this song, has never failed to edify me.  To give me strength to go on.  To bring a peace to my aching heart in those times of need.  And tonight, it all is coming clear.  I can't begin to describe how much this song means to me.  Through the struggle of my life crashing down, and my heart being so broke, to the healing that only time, faith, hope, and power from above can bring.

My papers are in y'all.  Let the guessing begin. 

 Where in the world will Chelsey be going??

{smile so big you can see it from China}

{smile}

After many trials, errors, and sighs of frustration,

I bring you,

my blog.

I don't think i'm going to touch the design for awhile.  I'm going to let it be, and see what happens. I took it off being private, it was driving me crazy, and I'm not ashamed of what I went through.  I'm not going to publicize it, but if someone asks, I can tell them.

4 more hours to go!  Now I'm going to read and write in my journal (paper).  It needs some loving as well.

ta-ta for now!

oh boy.

so, I have a meeting with my stake president tomorrow.  

oh boy.

I am going on a date with this SUPER cute kid.

oh boy.

is this satan, or supposed to happen.

oh boy.

.pray.pray.pray.

slacker much?

So I got called in to work tonight, to work on peds.
I was in an AWFUL mood.
A to the awful mood.

I met this girl named Jessica.  She's 20. A respiratory therapist. Done with school. Has a cute, laywer bound boyfriend. Super cute girl, the kind you instantly just like.  Aaaaaand. . . . .
here's me.
chelsey.
21, almost 22.  Associates Degree. don't know what to do in school. No bf. No direction. Going on a mission.
Grr..sometimes I hate when I feel bad about myself.
But I stopped it.  I know I have had fun, and my life happened how it was supposed to. And I've enjoyed it all.
Just still makes ya stop and think for a second, ya know? Wow. How can I start to make my life feel productive to me.
{sigh}

s'more fun!

This seriously has to be one of the best summa's ever so far.  I feel like I know more about myself, so I can fully enjoy it.  It's amazing how much more you start to appreciate things the older you get. I'm glad I'm learning now, to enjoy every second.

We've been having a lot of fun with these guys. . .

{nothin there though, don't be gettin ideas haha}

Michael's eyes crack me up!

Ever tell ya how much I love this girl?

After many attempts, and hoping that the truck's alarm wouldn't go off, we finally got a good one :)

We drove around pine valley looking for a camp spot {even though the campground said full} and we found our own perfect little spot.  It was a super fun date.  

For dinner, earlier, Michael took me to Xteva in Kayenta. Seriously, srsly, the BEST hamburger I've EVER had.  I can't begin to describe the yumminess that was the free-range beef, the ciabatta bread, and the ceasar salad {that was way different than any I've ever had}.

Wish I would have gotten a picture of the olive appetizer they serve you.  

Ever seen Jungle 2 Jungle?? with Tim Allen??

Remember the fish guts in the marketplace they had to eat?

Extremely similar in looks, but surprisingly, quite tasty!

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions...

I hate that word. . . decision.  Ugh. Seriously makes me want to throw up.  Little ones I'm fine with. But big, life-changing ones? Please no.  I never know when I feel the spirit, and what I should do.

Service mission.

Full-time mission.

WHICH ONE?!

I feel really good about a full-time mission,

but then in the back of my mind I think service.

Kill me now.

this sucks.

either one is good I know, but which one does the Lord want me to do?

Anyways, on a lighter note. . .

My friend decupoged a journal for me! Gee it is so cute! Me likey.  I love writing in a journal.  I hope to never stop. This blog thing is fun, but there seriously is no better thing than bringing out a worn-out notebook and seeing all your writing, and reading it.  Typing, pictures are great, and don't get me wrong I won't stop.  But there is something about actually writing down your thoughts.

{loves!}

patiently follow our road

I'm kind of a black and white person, very literal, especially when it comes to church things.
this can be good, yet very bad at the same time.
I was reading the Ensign the other day, and came across this.
In my black and whiteness, I just perceived that God was trying to teach me patience about where my life is right now. Yes, this is one thing.

But patience applies to ALL aspects of life.  

I took this little challenge, and it's amazing what you find...in most scriptures that you've already read.

1.Read each scripture under patience then ponder Christ's examples.
2. Evaluate ourselves where we stand on patience. How much more patience do we need to become more Christlike?
3.become more sensitive to the example of patience in everyday.
4. Recommit every day.

There are a lot of scriptures relating to patience...
Here are some of my thoughts that stood out to me...
     ~with patience run this race, looking always to Christ.  It's OK to go slow.

 {this needs to slap Chelsey in the face a few more times ha.}

     ~But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, wanting       nothing.

{what a beautiful statement. when we exercise patience, and trust in the Lord, we will want nothing because we waited and hoped for what was best.}

     ~Life is this never ending race.  Even if we learn something once, doesn't mean we will always remember that lesson. We are human, and we forget things.  It's ok to make mistakes.  Because if we've truly learned that lesson then it will be a lot easier to come back to the path.

     How great is it knowing we can always come back...He loves us that much.

The scenery will change along our road we're on, but it can always be beautiful to us if we're willing to keep Him in the driver seat and enjoy the ride.

6...17...2011

June seventeenth two thousand and eleven.

6-17-2011

June 17, 2011

The day I've been dreading.

But..

{TENDER MERCY}

My Heavenly Father loves me.

Today has seriously been so good.  I slept until 1:30! No waking up. That was so nice.

I went to the temple...

that was a bittersweet thing.

I was supposed to be being sealed for time and all eternity, but instead I helped people out of spirit prison.  I'll take it :)

I got to talk to Kayci!!  

I was sad right before we went into the temple, 

{the wedding exit and baptism entrance are right by each other.} 

but I still was ok. 

Then in the dressing room I saw Corinne!! Marshall's sister.  It seriously was the best thing ever to run into her. To know that they still miss me as much as I miss them, and it just completely brightened by day.

Theeeen...

{it doesn't end there}

Leeanne and I went to Walmart, and I saw Britt!  And then I saw Jeanne!! It's not like these people said anything really profound that I needed to hear, but I didn't know I needed to see them, until I did.  

The Lord watches out for us, even when we don't know we need something.

And now I'm at work. . . and Leeanne is going to come hang out with me.

All in all this day actually was one of the better days I've had.

I LOVE this gospel,

I LOVE my life,

And I KNOW and PRAY and HOPE and have FAITH that things will work out beyond my dreams.

{love}

This just needed to be shown :)

p.s. I have cried for a total of less than a minute today. Before while thinking I would never make it through this day, this is a miracle.

almost a new beginning..

Today is June 14.
Today in about 11 hours I was supposed to be receiving my endowments, with Marshall by my side, all my friends in the temple, and I was supposed to be the happiest girl on earth.
But today, I will be dropping my grandpa off at the shuttle stop, working out, then hangin with my girl Mich, and then going to start my four days straight of work.
Funny how life changes..

Funny how I'm still happy. .
Even though we were texting yesterday a little, it didn't get me down.
I'm still moving on, and even while it hurts, it doesn't sting as much.
I'm going on dates and having fun..
Learning more about who I am,
and what I need to become.

I know one day I will be able to go through the temple, and be sealed to my eternal companion whom I adore and love.
It's just not supposed to be this week like I thought.
oh well.

Ether 12:4.

I have hope for my future...
Just keep smiling,
and never EVER not be yourself or listen to yourself.

After the 17th is over, I will be able to start a new beginning.  Right now Marsh and I would only have 4 days left till we started our eternity. but after friday, I can just really begin anew.

Happily Ever After

This song?
l.o.v.e.
Love this girls voice!
love the lyrics...
just a love post :)

kayci..

Well Kayci went to her camp for the summer a couple weeks ago...
I think I've text her like 5 times, even called tonight..but still nothing.
and I know she's had time to do other things besides work.
oh well.
:(

our desires and patience.

"to achieve our eternal destiny; we will desire and work for the qualities required to become an eternal being."

I haven't blogged about it, but I felt a really strong impression on Sunday, with everything that was said, to turn my papers in.  but I'm tired of rushing into decisions. Feeling good about something, and then going full force, not examining my feelings about it, not truly taking time to ask the Lord. . .
It's been a learning experience these last three months on what I want, what the Lord wants for me, and how to mix those two.
In Elder Oaks talk from conference he said,

"We should remember that righteous desires cannot be superficial, IMPULSIVE, or temporary.  They must be heartfelt, unwavering, and permanent."

I'm pretty sure I did that with my first answer to go on a mission...very impulsive. It was a good righteous desire, but I should have studied it out a bit more, been patient.  I pushed it to the limit.  when I got that answer, it didn't mean right at that second, to be done as soon as possible.  I need to learn patience with God's timetable.  Which brings me to something I found in the Ensign last night.

"...actually when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best-or better than does God.  Or at least we are asserting that our timetable is better than His."

Now this is the clincher. Hold on to your seats.

"We can grow in faith only if we are willing to wait patiently for God's purposes and patterns to unfold in our lives on His timetable."

I know there is a slim line to where you go forward doing some thing with faith, and just keep living righteously, trying to follow the Lord, and let His plan for you unfold. 

I hope I can find that line. 

I feel so at peace right now..

with myself..

with life..

with where I am..

I feel. . .

happy.

That pure joy, peace that comes from my Heavenly Father.

And I feel I have more control over my emotions.
I feel that I'm feeling that faith growing, as I'm just living the commandments and having fun where I'm at in life right now.

I pray, pray, pray I can keep it this way. We'll see what happens with said boy. {see below post}

yay for life.

yay for the gospel of Jesus Christ.

yay for friends.

yay for everything.



While you're living the life you love, don't forget to also

love.the.life.you.live.

muah.

so there's this boy. .

It's been really good talking to this boy lately.

{i refuse to let myself go into many details. ha. i NEED to take this slow, but don't want to forget anything.}

His voice makes me melt, and he seriously is the sweetest, and it just come so naturally to him. 
I know, it's been less than a week.  and that's what i thought about Marshall..
But this seems different.
Just from what I've been told by Kirk and Cat...
from what we've already talked about.
I can tell a maturity there in his sweetness. Not just a flirty-know-how-to-get-the-girl way, but in a way that seems to be his personality. Simply, it's him.
I told him I was going on a mission tonight, and he totally just took it in stride...said he wants to see where it goes with me.. . . . . . . .

{don't forget I haven't met the kid, and we've been talking less than a week.What the eeek!?}

We're going on a date on Friday, and probably country dancing on Sat night, and when we talked about it on the phone, I seriously can't wait.  We're having a DDR competition, and I have to come up with some stakes...HELP! lol.
We have a lot of fun talking on the phone. 
He's the personality I want, with the sweetness that I didn't think could go hand in hand.
hmm.....
we'll see how this weekend goes...

{big smile.}

growth.

As I'm sitting here, 4+ hrs to go, and feeling very tired....
I started reading my old posts again.

I made it all the way back to the beginning.  It's so amazing how even now I can still feel acutely the pain I was going through as I wrote each of those posts.  But how grateful I am that I did write them!  To not have any of that? To have gone through all I just did and not record any of it?  It makes me have a greater want to journal, even though I already am.  It just enforces my testimony of it.

I've grown a lot in these three months.
I would have gotten married in now..11 days.  Geez.  When we first got engaged three more months seemed like eternity. Now that day would have almost been here.
But I'm happy.
I truly am.
Can't say that I understand exactly why it needed to happen like it did, but I do realize how much I'm growing. And how sweet a blessing that is I can't even begin to explain.  I feel like anything I do from now on I have  a greater capacity to do.  It's this feeling of truly knowing myself.  Why I couldn't figure that out when I was with him, I don't know.  But I will revel in this "exquisite sweetness."  and it's only the gospel and my testimony of my Heavenly Father and Savior that can give me that.

Sacrament meeting today? just for me. Every word said. It was crazy. At first I kinda denied it, but after awhile I really couldn't.  I definitely need to fast more. Holy goodness.
Between you and me, I think I'm going to turn my papers in.....
almost every testimony was about a mission.
then one girl said that no time is wasted because we are learning.
I worry so much about that blessing, but ANYTHING can happen even if I do go on a mission.  And when I find my EC it could be anytime. I have got to stop trying to make everything I hear a self-fulfilling prophecy.

so this week will be a week of pondering.
My bishop can't talk till next sunday.
Gives me a week to fast again,
to go to the temple,
to meet Jon,
to think about it, ponder, study it out,
and if it's right at the end of this week still {I'm very tired of rushing into a decision}
then those puppies will be in!

But I'm seriously not telling anyone till I have the actual call in my hands.
I hate having to explain to everyone over and over again my crazy thoughts that change all the time.  Sooooo I know I don't have to. So I'm not going to.  Feels good. :)

I start Institute classes this week!!! rock on, rock on.
Although I'm sorely tempted to skip tomorrow. i'm so tired :S
But I won't.....just might die at work tomorrow but whatev haha.

Too long a post, so signing off.  Toodles!

drum roll please!

AMOS KIRK MCALLISTER
7 lbs 7oz  20 in.

I was so excited to go to work, because Catharine had said she was getting induced on Sat.
41 weeks huge, that little boy needed to come outta there!

But theeeeen, I got a text that said her water broke!!!

HOW FLIPPIN EXCITING?!?!!?!!!

I was talking to one of the nurses and she said that maybe 10% of women get to have their water broken naturally.  Most of the time it just does not break on it's own.
Although weird, that has got to be the coolest feeling.  Now things have officially started!!  

When I saw this on the board at work, I about died of butterflies. I've been waiting to see her name here for a long while :)

WHOOT WHOOT!

She started out at a 5, 0 station, and com effaced.

Pwerfect!

Then around 3:25 she was a 7!!!

That was where the board stopped being updated haha.  I know I seem like a crazy stalker woman, but this is important stuff!! 

 I hope she'll appreciate me  for it later, and not just roll her eyes; )

Then I was about to go off shift and she text me and said that she was 

COMPLETELY dialated! COMPLETELY effaced!

She was ready to PUSH!!

I made signs to decorate their room with. 

I think everyone should have signs, but especially these two.

and of course as always her text said how grateful she was, that her body did what it needed to do, and grateful for everything.   She is such an example.! 

Then I get this picture. AWWWWWWW! Can you see how handsome he is??

He's so perfect :)

And then I got to take care of my beautiful friend!!!  Although most stuff was done, it was good to be able to take a walk with her, and talk and hear how it felt, and happened...and goodness. we can create! such a gift from God. And that he entrusted us to be able to have this gift.  Our bodies are seriously so amazing.  To handle another being growing inside them for 9 months, and then to give birth to amazing little miracles? 

Straight from Heavenly Father. 

Perfect.

Divine.

Heavenly.

It's funny. I've never had anyone close to me be pregnant.  someone that I was truly friends with, not just acquaintances.  

So it was amazing to see this woman go for 9 months carryin this baby of hers.

...feeling him kick...watching the love grow in his mom and dad...watching the nsy be set up...seeing her read books to be knowledgeable on how to care for a newborn and make her body the healthiest oven for her little one...

and then, to see him? To know that this little guy was inside her? for all those nine months? 

It was amazing to realize that.  

I felt so privileged to be sorta part of it.  

and that I'm going to be able to have a baby of my own one day, and to have her be there with me through that as well.

I hope I get lucky enough to be called Aunt Chelsey :)

I love you Cat and Kirk!  

Congratulations on creating the perfect little man, and finally getting to hold him. :)

I will be bringing you over a present sometime in the near future.

So I don't forget. . .

~talking to Jon.
"I'm talking to you. I don't want to think about other girls when I'm talking to you."
      -He seriously is the sweetest guy.  I know, Cheltzey {story later}, I know. You're getting ahead of yourself. sllllooooowwww doown.  Remember all you have learned.

~I'm bearing my testimony tomorrow.  L.O.V.E.

~work out/tan FIVE days in a row. Booyah.

~date next fri.
     -"Oh, didn't you tell me you had a date on Fri?"  :Jon.
    -"Uumm, I have a date night to the temple with the girls, and I invited you? haha"  :Me.
    -"Oh, that's right. You told me you had one after the temple."  :Jon.

    {Chelsey finally catching on }

    -"Oh really now.  And who might this date be with?" :Me.

    -"me!"  :Jon.

~everyone is now commenting on how I pronounce my name.  It's pronounced, Cheltzey people, not Chel-sey.  I was raised Southern, what can I say. :)

~CATHARINE HAD HER BABY!!!!! :) OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!

Pics later :)  Super cute boy. I'm so happy for them! Now to only name him ;)

I'm starting to love my life again. . . slowly but surely. definitely still hard. but slow and steady wins the race right.  right.

.your mission in life is now.

"He, will not fail you."

Have you ever just come across something and seriously felt like it was written for you, right now, exactly what you need to hear, sent from God himself? Even though it was written a year ago??

The next article I read, did exactly that.
Your Mission in Life is Now.

~for a little season.
         -the pioneers went to Kirtland, knowing that they would only be there for a little season.
         -D&C 51:16-17
         -I don't think they peered endlessly into the unknown, wondering where they would go next and when.
            they acted "as for years" trusting that their work would not be in vain.
~A mission every day
         -my mission in life was not waiting for me in the vague and distant future, it was daily and ongoing.
         -our missions will last as long as we're alive.
         -found a way to recognize it.
                     -a unique set of personal gifts.
                     -a unique set of personal challenges
                      -specific needs in the world that the Lord wants me to respond to.
         -we fufill our mission when these three elements intersect and we choose to act.
~Be still and know  {see! there it is again! I seriously need to learn this principle.}
            -she finally recognized that her life had unfolded in every way her patriartichal blessing had said. but
                not because she knew what she was doing.  had some twists and turns but she didn't need to worry
            -the Lord always knew where I was and where He wanted me to go.  live the commandments, serve,
              and listen to the spirit.  Although she couldn't discern it at the time, His hand was always guiding my
              life.
             -Greater confidence comes when we learn to rely on the Lord's ability to bring about His purposes       for our life-- day by day. then we are better able to "be still, and know that [He is] God." And i so doing, we experience peace.

I know that I will find out what my mission for my life is.  I just can't keep beating it over my head with a baseball bat.  Or else I won't grow, I won't be happy, which is what He wants for us. What He DIED for us for.  My Savior loves me, and I know that because of my obedience, and my willingness to do whatever He wants me to do, His plan and purpose for me will reveal itself.  He loves me too much to not let it happen. But this is where that ultimate faith "that I know everything will work out" comes into play.  I pray for the strength. 

"He, will not fail you."

.don't be in a hurry.

*insert* Can I just say that I love working out?! I never thought I would be able to say that. But I really, sincerely, honestly do. I love the way I'm feeling, and how it's making me look, even after only a week!
Aaaaaannd...I got put on call tonight. YIPEE! I'm glad I didn't sleep in too late today.

So since I don't want to walk all the way to my car to get my journal {which I need to get a new one of anyways}, I'm going to blog about this amazing Ensign I read last night, and am reading again right now.  I didn't really want to read it last night, but there was nothing else, so I just did it.
*how GRATEFUL I am*
The first article I came across was Don't Be In A Hurry.
~everyday on this earth is a GIFT from God.  "While we go about our business, this earth is spinning on its axis, and all the while the Lord is preserving [us] from day to day, by lending [us] breath that [we] may live and move and do "what we will" and "even supporting [us] from one moment to another."
{can I get a wow?}
Makes me really start to think about myself, and how even though I think I'm trying to keep God in all my thoughts, how many little things that I'm missing.
~Don't be in a hurry to fill your days with busyness.
~we need that quiet, peaceful time to ourselves to reconnect with the Spirit, and feel the peace.
~Don't be in a hurry to be done.
~There seems to be little evidence that the Creator of the universe was ever in a hurry.
~"...everywhere there is evidence of patient purpose and planning and working and waiting."
~Becoming Christlike is a lifelong pursuit.
~BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.
How much that scripture is coming up in my life lately.

"Oh Lord, my God."

Melancholy. . .Yet, Purposeful

Today started out amazing! I got to hang out with my favorite girl Catharine. I seriously miss this girl so much.
We used to hang out almost everyday, but little preggo mama is busy, and I work like there is no tomorrow...so it has kinda been hard to get together.
But we had a lovely breakfast....no pics!?!?!  WHY cat WHY? We are the worst at taking pics haha.
But it was awesome, and I love talking to that girl, and I'm SO glad I'll get to be there when she has her little bebeh. :) :)

Then......
I went and worked out. FOUR days straight! People, this is amazing.
So that felt good.

Then...my friend starting talking to her friend, who just graduated high school last year, already has her associates, and is going to teach English in China soon.  Can I just say I feel like I haven't done anything with my life? lol.  I know that's not right.
I have loved my life, loved everything I've done or I wouldn't have done what I've done.
I just need something right now.
I need to feel like I'm going somewhere.
Maybe I'll go do something dance wise in China! I know there has to be something to teach children musical theatre somewhere.
I need to look into things...
But I have to learn to be my best self right now.
So, for right now, I know there is this Children of Hope academy somewhere in town, and I want to go volunteer there.  I need to serve others, instead of serving myself as much as I have been. I've taken the time to heal from my experience, and now I need to try to repay all the love Heavenly Father has shown me.  By serving my fellow man.  I can't wait!

I need to pray with more purpose, and not just sit and let everything come to me.  It's not going to happen.  I need to do more than I'm doing to receive an answer.
Thanks Catharine...you are amazing, don't forget it  :)