t minus 10 hours

Wow. Three long months of waiting is finally here.  I can't believe in a few hours I will be at the Missionary Training Center, waiting to start my new adventure to teach and spread this wonderful gospel.  The Lord works in mysterious ways.  I'm so grateful where I am right now, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.  To be set apart as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints tonight was a surreal thing.  Although I don't necessarily feel different right now, I know I need to step up to the plate and be the best I can be for the Lord.
I would LOVE to hear from you guys!
Either write me on www.dearelder.com  (it's free while I'm in the MTC or just the price of a stamp when I'm in the field.)  or here is my address for at least three weeks, but I'm thinking it will be four.

Sister Chelsey LaVoye Baker
MTC mailbox 155
NE-OMA 1108
2005 N 900 E
Provo, UT 84604-1793

Here's to the next 18 months! Hopefully I will be able to do what the Lord needs me to do.  I pray I will be able to answer this call faithfully and honorably.

Thank you all for being so amazing!  My mission blog which will be updated with my letters is

sisterchelseybaker.blogspot.com

i loved you too much to just be your friend, so God let me be your sister

Ya know those times when you and your sister just get in a really silly, dorky, giddy mood and you both just keep laughing at(with) the other one about the most random stuff? because you  can be your absolute self around her?

When you know life can just be smiled at, 

and things really are good no matter what you're going through.

I <3 those times.

Thank you Cierra for putting up with my crazy antics. I love you so much :)

Quality, not Quantity

          My best friend, Kayci, and I hardly ever see each other.  We were together for two years in high school, but we were both SUPER busy, and I actually don't remember hanging out that much outside of school.  But then I moved for her senior year, and then I came back, she moved etc. etc.  It's amazing though, that our relationship only gets better, and we can see each other and it's like we never left.  I love that about us. We truly just get each other.  So when we do see each other, it is packed with fun things, and we laugh so hard, and forget about the world for awhile.

          This month she is moving to LA!  I can't wait till I get back from my mission to just spend lots of time there with her.  But she still had a lot of her stuff in Salt Lake, and her old car (she just bought a new one) was there and she needed to at least get it down to St. George to my house.  The plan was to drive up there together, and then we each drive one car home.  But I worked Saturday night, and Monday night.
 So commence the less than 24 hr road trip to Salt Lake and epic drive home :)

First pic of the trip!  I changed my face .25 secs before I took the picture so my mouth looks a little funny.  But isn't she GORGEOUS!

Haha so we're just drivin along, coming up on Beaver, UT, and the sign says #1 tasting water.  I've seen this sign I don't know how many times, and never have stopped to see if it's true! Sooo we did.  We thought there might be a stream or something, but didn't see any.  So we went into the bathroom thinking maybe the tap water? Yah, didn't work either. Oh well, we tried right? haha.

Have you guys ever looked at an Urban Outfitters magazine? Well if you haven't, you aren't missing out on much. Anywho, the models in there were in the weirdest poses, along with some pretty weird outfits.  This was Kc and our friend Cory trying to imitate.

Next we went to the PIE, which is the pizza place from heaven, seriously.  Kc and I have tons of memories there.  It's always a must when we are in SLC together.

 The walls are covered in writings of everyone that has passed through.  This was one from last year :)

 And ours. I can't believe it's still there, a lot of them get written over.

Um, did I mention I love this girl??

Then we decided to dance in the parking lot. This is awkward high school dancing reenactment.

This was just fun :)

they can't stop being models.

Haha classic..engagement pic?? lol. either way it shows our friendship. We laugh A LOT.

The ride home was very eventful. Her old car is really old and couldn't go over 65.  So the four hour drive from Salt Lake took us 7 hrs, with only a couple pit stops.  I have never had so many semis pass me.  But we kept in touch the whole ride, and it seriously was so much fun.  I couldn't have asked for a better 24 hrs with my sister.

I'm really going to miss her.  Even though we've been apart for almost our entire relationship it will be hard to not just drop a text whenever I want.

<3

A look back...and a smile forward!

It's my 100th post!  I can't believe i've made it to this point! I wanted to just take a look back on this year.  When I started this blog in April, I just wanted it to be a private online journal, viewable to only me, to get my frustrations out. I was hurt, sad, frustrated, confused, and almost every other emotion. But since then I've grown, and the hurt has been replaced by peace, and joy, and I don't have to be embarrassed by what's happened to me.  Just embrace it and let it help shape me into the person I'm becoming.  I found this quote on Pinterest, and it sums everything up, like only the way quotes can do.

via

I've learned so much about myself since God told me "no."  I've learned what I can handle, and that I can handle SO much more than I ever thought possible; and I can handle it and use it to build me up instead of down.  I've learned when we follow what Heavenly Father wants for us, we can be so much happier than we ever thought possible.  When my fiance and I broke up, I thought my world was ending.  All my plans for the future were taken away from me in a matter of minutes. No matter how much I kept reminding myself that it was the right thing, {and I knew it was the right thing to do} it still hurt like nothing I've ever felt before.

 I have never questioned so much in my life. 

WHY did this have to happen to me. Am I not doing what I'm supposed to? We weren't doing anything wrong!  It's our choice isn't it? What did I do to deserve this?  Am I not good enough to marry him?  I'm never going to find anyone that I love as much as him, why did this have to happen to me? What is wrong with me?

It was not a fun few months.  Yet, laced with all the questions and hurt was peace, and moments of happiness.  It was the little moments, the tender mercies of the Lord, that helped me through.  It's amazing how a little moment of peace, a little ray of light can push through all the darkness to give you strength for a little while.  To give you that extra push to get up in the morning, and put a smile on your face.  I have never been so blessed and looked after as I was during those next few months, and even now, now that I've truly .  I learned to truly turn to my Heavenly Father and Savior to find my peace, to just let the past go, learn all I could from it, and move forward looking brightly into the future. 

I'm not saying I handled it perfectly.  There were moments where I just wanted to give up, and there were moments I did.  To just mope around all day eating ice cream and comfort foods. I didn't want to go to work, or church or anywhere in public. It was so hard to face all the questions, reliving the story all the time, even though people were just being well meaning. I would get so angry sometimes, so easily and the littlest things would frustrate me to no end.  But something was always there, at the precise moment I needed it, to take my hand and guide me through.  When I could barely make it through a day, he sent my eye doctor, of all people. He sent me two new friends that changed my summer. He sent me simple moments when I didn't even know I would need them.  Even on the day I was supposed to be getting sealed for time and all eternity I was especially not left alone.  It's amazing how the Lord sends others to do put their arms around us when He can't do it himself.  Have you ever heard the poem, "Footprints in the Sand." ?  I'm sure you have, but now you should listen to it. :)

The decision to go on a mission was also a real struggle.  I didn't want to go at first, in the least bit. But then I got an answer that I should go, and I went full steam ahead and just wanted to leave. I wasn't waiting for anything and nothing could stop me. But I was trying to do things way too fast, and in my own time frame and I wondered why nothing was working out. {and I couldn't see this why? lol. Hindsight is always 20/20 like they say.}   I went back and forth so much {over the course of two and a half months} that it was making me sick. But it was when I finally just calmed down and learned some patience that I knew I needed to slow down, and things will work out like they're supposed to, as long as I'm trying to do what's right and what I'm supposed to. And suddenly, I wasn't scared anymore. I was so excited! It was a peaceful feeling, instead of the rushed feeling. The night I turned my papers in was such a turning point for me.  I felt like my Heavenly Father was so proud of me, and let me tell you, nothing can compare to that feeling, nothing.  And now that I only have 19 days left till I leave, that peace that I've made the right decision has only grown.  I knew at first I needed to go on a mission, but I'm so glad I'm going now, and not then.  I knew I wouldn't have come home because I was sad or anything, but I needed to grow a little more, and have a few more experiences so that I could fully serve the Lord in the full capacity that He needs me to.

 I'm so grateful for God's"redirection" in my life! As much as I loved this boy and wanted to marry him, I'm so grateful we're not married, and that we both listented to those promptings!  Even though I believe we could have had a great marriage, God has different things in store for both of us, and His plan is always the better one. I've learned that God teaches us line upon line, and in His way.  I've learned that His way of teaching us always is for our benefit, and never to mock us or hurt us.  It's not about what we want, or what we think would be best for us at the moment. If we truly let ourselves be led by Him, our mistakes will never be to our detriment, only our aid, and our triumphs will be expounded upon us more wonderfully than we can comprehend. We are being prepared for eternal salvation, and I hope I can always look at my trials with a smile on my face and a faith that I am becoming the daughter He wants me to be.

Gee whiz if you made it to the end, thank you for reading! I write all this so that I can remember. This has been a big journey for me, and I'm grateful I can look back with a smile, and look forward to my new adventures with an even bigger smile.  Life is wonderful! Keep smiling :)

Happy Birthday CB!

I can't believe my baby sister is 20! She's not a teenager anymore.  We're on very different paths of life, but I love her so much and I'm so glad she's my sister.  A sister truly is a forever friend.  We're only 23 months apart, but it still makes me feel really old to have her be not a teenager anymore.  I love you c.  Thanks for always making me smile.  :)

<3

Fall Love and Pinterest

I love f a l l .  I love the changing leaves (although STG doesn't have many of those), I love the crisp fall weather. I love fall wardrobe. Love sweaters and scarves, and fall colors.  {my birthday is in fall, that's always a plus ;) } I love playing football outside, and the fact that the holidays are just around the corner.  I love the newness the new season brings and the determination to do great things and start anew. 

Pinterest has become my new favorite thing.  What a way to get new ideas! I refused to get it at first because I knew I would be addicted, but I have been able to keep it in check and just enjoy it when I am on it.  Leave me your usernames, I would love to follow you and see what inspires you!  Mine is CheBaker.  Cheers to fall, brand new month, and to pinteresting. :)

What I think I want now? or what I want most..

I've learned something this last month about true happiness, and the choices we make. 
Richard G. Scott, {an apostle from my church} said it perfectly.

"Discipline is that characteristic which will give you the strength to avoid giving up what you want most in life for something you think you want now."  

August was a month of completely new experiences for me.  Some that have never come up before in my life, seriously. never.  It was amazing to watch myself! Things I had never questioned before started to come up again and want to be questioned.  It made me mad at myself but yet, I almost couldn't help it. It consumed my thoughts.  For at least a good three solid weeks I struggled.  Mind you, this was all in my head. I hadn't physically done anything to make me mad at myself.  For that, I was grateful to myself. Grateful I didn't have to deal with that as well.  But the fact that I was wanting to give into the temptations. That I was dwelling on these things enough to the point of seriously considering.  That was bad enough for me. 

It finally came to a head tonight. I realized that I needed to stop sitting on the fence- go one way or the other.  I wasn't accomplishing anything by doing what I was doing.  And after a few moments of revelation which I did not deserve, I remembered what it is I believe in, what I've always believed in, and what wouldn't let me give into the temptations in the first place..and I jumped back in with both feet.  As much as it makes me mad at myself for dwelling like I did, I'm very grateful for the experience. I now know how I react to different situations, and I know I'll have an easier time disciplining myself and remembering "what I want most in life", and not giving it up for "what I think I want now."

Satan is real. And I know my decision to go on a mission has made him work all the harder on me.  But I also know how real my Heavenly Father and Savior are, and just how much stronger I am when I rely on them, and they are on my side. 

 "And if our God is for us,

then who could ever stop us.

And if our God if with us,

 then what could stand against."

-Chris Tomlin Our God

nuff said.

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.

I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.

I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.

I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.

I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.

I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."

— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

What an inspiring lady.  Everything that comes out of her mouth is so uplifting, and gives you strength to go another day.  May we all look after her example.

:)

those moments..

       Ever have those moments? ya know when either you read, see, hear, witness, or in any way that information can be relayed to the brain something that changes your life for good?  I don't think it's ever just one huge, mind-boggling, event that only happens once and the rest is history.  I believe that whether they be big or small, there are MANY moments that change us. That give us strength to go on. That remind us how much we are loved. That remind us just how special each of us are.  It recharges our "batteries", so to say.  Because even if we are happy, and nothing is really going wrong, I still think our "batteries" slowly lose energy.  and it's those moments, most of the time when we don't even think we need them, that bring us back up to full, and give our lives even richer meaning, and even more confidence to go on and be the best we can be.

      That was a long introduction.  But I had one of those moments tonight.  Four thirty in the morning.  After a night of so much fun, and then pondering, and then tears, and then sadness, {it all came on so suddenly.  Isn't it crazy how life works?} I was just going to go to bed. I am exhausted, in all forms of the word emotionally, and physically.  {remember my day of wakeboarding? haha yaaaah, definitely paying for that one. can barely move any muscle in my body!}

     But I decided to check facebook, first.  There is a very special lady in my life, and I have only known her for a little over a year, but she is more of an example and means more to me than she'll ever know. I look up to her.  But I had written her a message a couple days ago, just saying hi.  And the message I got back tonight, was exactly what I needed, and I didn't know I needed it.

     I won't say what the message said, but I guess the point I'm trying to make, {sorry if I'm rambling, I just really feel I need to get this out} is that I was at a low, and something so simple as her message {which related hardly nothing to what I was upset about earlier tonight} made my entire out look change again; one of those moments. I didn't realize i needed my batteries recharged, until I read it.

       It's a testimony of how we are not alone. A loving God is in heaven watching out for us.  And He works through others sometimes, no-most of the time, to remind us that He's there.  How much of a win-win is that for us? Our relationship grows stronger with Him as we recognize His hand, we grow as individuals, and also a sweetening of the relationships we have with the people He works through.  Have you ever had a stranger smile at you? Ever had a close friend or family member say they love you? or write you a little note? or do something for you that they didn't need to do?  I could name many more examples.  But I believe that they are being instruments for the Lord, when He can't be here Himself.

       I heard somewhere, Never let a good thought go undone. (or something to that effect.)  You never know when the Lord is going to use you to be a moment for someone else. Most of the time you won't realize the effect that is produced, but do your good thoughts anyways.  I've tried to live by that, and I can tell a difference in my own happiness when I don't act as much as I should on those thoughts.

        And even though she'll probably never read this, I just want to tell her thank you.  Thank you for acting on that good thought to say what she did.  {because she said some things that normally she doesn't elaborate on, but she did tonight.} coincidence? I don't believe so.

If you made it to the end, wow, and thank you!  The Lord knows what we need, when we need it.  We are never alone.  <3

       

Life is A Party

It's Monday, and time remember life is still a PARTY!

Lately I've been reminded more and more of how much I love life, and how blessed I am.  No matter what trials you're going through, keep moving on.  The light will come.  But only if you look for the light, look for the good in all things.  Have faith, and hope. ♥

Anywho, off my little soapbox for the day...{But I needed to say it! }

Things I'm celebrating in life right now...

          ♡ WAKEBOARDING!! I finally got to go for the first time this summer.  It's amazing    what our bodies can do! I love getting better each time and trying harder stuff.  {definitely not amazing or anything, but I'm learning to become less scared to jump.}
          ♡friends.  I could not have gotten through these last six months without my amazing support group.  i'm making so many new friends, and getting closer to the old ones.  I hope I can keep those friendships up while I'm gone.  I will write!
          ♡phone calls. I love getting phone calls from friends. Which goes back the friends. I have AMAZING friends and people who love me, and I love back.
          ♡the sun.  I am loving the sun this summer. SO wonderful.
          ♡The temple.  self explanatory. {going to the LA temple on Tue. Whoo!}
          ♡CATALINA ISLAND! can't wait to see my sista :)

Please let me know what you are celebrating today?? 

s'more fun!

This seriously has to be one of the best summa's ever so far.  I feel like I know more about myself, so I can fully enjoy it.  It's amazing how much more you start to appreciate things the older you get. I'm glad I'm learning now, to enjoy every second.

We've been having a lot of fun with these guys. . .

{nothin there though, don't be gettin ideas haha}

Michael's eyes crack me up!

Ever tell ya how much I love this girl?

After many attempts, and hoping that the truck's alarm wouldn't go off, we finally got a good one :)

We drove around pine valley looking for a camp spot {even though the campground said full} and we found our own perfect little spot.  It was a super fun date.  

For dinner, earlier, Michael took me to Xteva in Kayenta. Seriously, srsly, the BEST hamburger I've EVER had.  I can't begin to describe the yumminess that was the free-range beef, the ciabatta bread, and the ceasar salad {that was way different than any I've ever had}.

Wish I would have gotten a picture of the olive appetizer they serve you.  

Ever seen Jungle 2 Jungle?? with Tim Allen??

Remember the fish guts in the marketplace they had to eat?

Extremely similar in looks, but surprisingly, quite tasty!