so there's this boy. .

It's been really good talking to this boy lately.

{i refuse to let myself go into many details. ha. i NEED to take this slow, but don't want to forget anything.}

His voice makes me melt, and he seriously is the sweetest, and it just come so naturally to him. 
I know, it's been less than a week.  and that's what i thought about Marshall..
But this seems different.
Just from what I've been told by Kirk and Cat...
from what we've already talked about.
I can tell a maturity there in his sweetness. Not just a flirty-know-how-to-get-the-girl way, but in a way that seems to be his personality. Simply, it's him.
I told him I was going on a mission tonight, and he totally just took it in stride...said he wants to see where it goes with me.. . . . . . . .

{don't forget I haven't met the kid, and we've been talking less than a week.What the eeek!?}

We're going on a date on Friday, and probably country dancing on Sat night, and when we talked about it on the phone, I seriously can't wait.  We're having a DDR competition, and I have to come up with some stakes...HELP! lol.
We have a lot of fun talking on the phone. 
He's the personality I want, with the sweetness that I didn't think could go hand in hand.
hmm.....
we'll see how this weekend goes...

{big smile.}

growth.

As I'm sitting here, 4+ hrs to go, and feeling very tired....
I started reading my old posts again.

I made it all the way back to the beginning.  It's so amazing how even now I can still feel acutely the pain I was going through as I wrote each of those posts.  But how grateful I am that I did write them!  To not have any of that? To have gone through all I just did and not record any of it?  It makes me have a greater want to journal, even though I already am.  It just enforces my testimony of it.

I've grown a lot in these three months.
I would have gotten married in now..11 days.  Geez.  When we first got engaged three more months seemed like eternity. Now that day would have almost been here.
But I'm happy.
I truly am.
Can't say that I understand exactly why it needed to happen like it did, but I do realize how much I'm growing. And how sweet a blessing that is I can't even begin to explain.  I feel like anything I do from now on I have  a greater capacity to do.  It's this feeling of truly knowing myself.  Why I couldn't figure that out when I was with him, I don't know.  But I will revel in this "exquisite sweetness."  and it's only the gospel and my testimony of my Heavenly Father and Savior that can give me that.

Sacrament meeting today? just for me. Every word said. It was crazy. At first I kinda denied it, but after awhile I really couldn't.  I definitely need to fast more. Holy goodness.
Between you and me, I think I'm going to turn my papers in.....
almost every testimony was about a mission.
then one girl said that no time is wasted because we are learning.
I worry so much about that blessing, but ANYTHING can happen even if I do go on a mission.  And when I find my EC it could be anytime. I have got to stop trying to make everything I hear a self-fulfilling prophecy.

so this week will be a week of pondering.
My bishop can't talk till next sunday.
Gives me a week to fast again,
to go to the temple,
to meet Jon,
to think about it, ponder, study it out,
and if it's right at the end of this week still {I'm very tired of rushing into a decision}
then those puppies will be in!

But I'm seriously not telling anyone till I have the actual call in my hands.
I hate having to explain to everyone over and over again my crazy thoughts that change all the time.  Sooooo I know I don't have to. So I'm not going to.  Feels good. :)

I start Institute classes this week!!! rock on, rock on.
Although I'm sorely tempted to skip tomorrow. i'm so tired :S
But I won't.....just might die at work tomorrow but whatev haha.

Too long a post, so signing off.  Toodles!

drum roll please!

AMOS KIRK MCALLISTER
7 lbs 7oz  20 in.

I was so excited to go to work, because Catharine had said she was getting induced on Sat.
41 weeks huge, that little boy needed to come outta there!

But theeeeen, I got a text that said her water broke!!!

HOW FLIPPIN EXCITING?!?!!?!!!

I was talking to one of the nurses and she said that maybe 10% of women get to have their water broken naturally.  Most of the time it just does not break on it's own.
Although weird, that has got to be the coolest feeling.  Now things have officially started!!  

When I saw this on the board at work, I about died of butterflies. I've been waiting to see her name here for a long while :)

WHOOT WHOOT!

She started out at a 5, 0 station, and com effaced.

Pwerfect!

Then around 3:25 she was a 7!!!

That was where the board stopped being updated haha.  I know I seem like a crazy stalker woman, but this is important stuff!! 

 I hope she'll appreciate me  for it later, and not just roll her eyes; )

Then I was about to go off shift and she text me and said that she was 

COMPLETELY dialated! COMPLETELY effaced!

She was ready to PUSH!!

I made signs to decorate their room with. 

I think everyone should have signs, but especially these two.

and of course as always her text said how grateful she was, that her body did what it needed to do, and grateful for everything.   She is such an example.! 

Then I get this picture. AWWWWWWW! Can you see how handsome he is??

He's so perfect :)

And then I got to take care of my beautiful friend!!!  Although most stuff was done, it was good to be able to take a walk with her, and talk and hear how it felt, and happened...and goodness. we can create! such a gift from God. And that he entrusted us to be able to have this gift.  Our bodies are seriously so amazing.  To handle another being growing inside them for 9 months, and then to give birth to amazing little miracles? 

Straight from Heavenly Father. 

Perfect.

Divine.

Heavenly.

It's funny. I've never had anyone close to me be pregnant.  someone that I was truly friends with, not just acquaintances.  

So it was amazing to see this woman go for 9 months carryin this baby of hers.

...feeling him kick...watching the love grow in his mom and dad...watching the nsy be set up...seeing her read books to be knowledgeable on how to care for a newborn and make her body the healthiest oven for her little one...

and then, to see him? To know that this little guy was inside her? for all those nine months? 

It was amazing to realize that.  

I felt so privileged to be sorta part of it.  

and that I'm going to be able to have a baby of my own one day, and to have her be there with me through that as well.

I hope I get lucky enough to be called Aunt Chelsey :)

I love you Cat and Kirk!  

Congratulations on creating the perfect little man, and finally getting to hold him. :)

I will be bringing you over a present sometime in the near future.

So I don't forget. . .

~talking to Jon.
"I'm talking to you. I don't want to think about other girls when I'm talking to you."
      -He seriously is the sweetest guy.  I know, Cheltzey {story later}, I know. You're getting ahead of yourself. sllllooooowwww doown.  Remember all you have learned.

~I'm bearing my testimony tomorrow.  L.O.V.E.

~work out/tan FIVE days in a row. Booyah.

~date next fri.
     -"Oh, didn't you tell me you had a date on Fri?"  :Jon.
    -"Uumm, I have a date night to the temple with the girls, and I invited you? haha"  :Me.
    -"Oh, that's right. You told me you had one after the temple."  :Jon.

    {Chelsey finally catching on }

    -"Oh really now.  And who might this date be with?" :Me.

    -"me!"  :Jon.

~everyone is now commenting on how I pronounce my name.  It's pronounced, Cheltzey people, not Chel-sey.  I was raised Southern, what can I say. :)

~CATHARINE HAD HER BABY!!!!! :) OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!

Pics later :)  Super cute boy. I'm so happy for them! Now to only name him ;)

I'm starting to love my life again. . . slowly but surely. definitely still hard. but slow and steady wins the race right.  right.

.your mission in life is now.

"He, will not fail you."

Have you ever just come across something and seriously felt like it was written for you, right now, exactly what you need to hear, sent from God himself? Even though it was written a year ago??

The next article I read, did exactly that.
Your Mission in Life is Now.

~for a little season.
         -the pioneers went to Kirtland, knowing that they would only be there for a little season.
         -D&C 51:16-17
         -I don't think they peered endlessly into the unknown, wondering where they would go next and when.
            they acted "as for years" trusting that their work would not be in vain.
~A mission every day
         -my mission in life was not waiting for me in the vague and distant future, it was daily and ongoing.
         -our missions will last as long as we're alive.
         -found a way to recognize it.
                     -a unique set of personal gifts.
                     -a unique set of personal challenges
                      -specific needs in the world that the Lord wants me to respond to.
         -we fufill our mission when these three elements intersect and we choose to act.
~Be still and know  {see! there it is again! I seriously need to learn this principle.}
            -she finally recognized that her life had unfolded in every way her patriartichal blessing had said. but
                not because she knew what she was doing.  had some twists and turns but she didn't need to worry
            -the Lord always knew where I was and where He wanted me to go.  live the commandments, serve,
              and listen to the spirit.  Although she couldn't discern it at the time, His hand was always guiding my
              life.
             -Greater confidence comes when we learn to rely on the Lord's ability to bring about His purposes       for our life-- day by day. then we are better able to "be still, and know that [He is] God." And i so doing, we experience peace.

I know that I will find out what my mission for my life is.  I just can't keep beating it over my head with a baseball bat.  Or else I won't grow, I won't be happy, which is what He wants for us. What He DIED for us for.  My Savior loves me, and I know that because of my obedience, and my willingness to do whatever He wants me to do, His plan and purpose for me will reveal itself.  He loves me too much to not let it happen. But this is where that ultimate faith "that I know everything will work out" comes into play.  I pray for the strength. 

"He, will not fail you."

.don't be in a hurry.

*insert* Can I just say that I love working out?! I never thought I would be able to say that. But I really, sincerely, honestly do. I love the way I'm feeling, and how it's making me look, even after only a week!
Aaaaaannd...I got put on call tonight. YIPEE! I'm glad I didn't sleep in too late today.

So since I don't want to walk all the way to my car to get my journal {which I need to get a new one of anyways}, I'm going to blog about this amazing Ensign I read last night, and am reading again right now.  I didn't really want to read it last night, but there was nothing else, so I just did it.
*how GRATEFUL I am*
The first article I came across was Don't Be In A Hurry.
~everyday on this earth is a GIFT from God.  "While we go about our business, this earth is spinning on its axis, and all the while the Lord is preserving [us] from day to day, by lending [us] breath that [we] may live and move and do "what we will" and "even supporting [us] from one moment to another."
{can I get a wow?}
Makes me really start to think about myself, and how even though I think I'm trying to keep God in all my thoughts, how many little things that I'm missing.
~Don't be in a hurry to fill your days with busyness.
~we need that quiet, peaceful time to ourselves to reconnect with the Spirit, and feel the peace.
~Don't be in a hurry to be done.
~There seems to be little evidence that the Creator of the universe was ever in a hurry.
~"...everywhere there is evidence of patient purpose and planning and working and waiting."
~Becoming Christlike is a lifelong pursuit.
~BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.
How much that scripture is coming up in my life lately.

"Oh Lord, my God."

Melancholy. . .Yet, Purposeful

Today started out amazing! I got to hang out with my favorite girl Catharine. I seriously miss this girl so much.
We used to hang out almost everyday, but little preggo mama is busy, and I work like there is no tomorrow...so it has kinda been hard to get together.
But we had a lovely breakfast....no pics!?!?!  WHY cat WHY? We are the worst at taking pics haha.
But it was awesome, and I love talking to that girl, and I'm SO glad I'll get to be there when she has her little bebeh. :) :)

Then......
I went and worked out. FOUR days straight! People, this is amazing.
So that felt good.

Then...my friend starting talking to her friend, who just graduated high school last year, already has her associates, and is going to teach English in China soon.  Can I just say I feel like I haven't done anything with my life? lol.  I know that's not right.
I have loved my life, loved everything I've done or I wouldn't have done what I've done.
I just need something right now.
I need to feel like I'm going somewhere.
Maybe I'll go do something dance wise in China! I know there has to be something to teach children musical theatre somewhere.
I need to look into things...
But I have to learn to be my best self right now.
So, for right now, I know there is this Children of Hope academy somewhere in town, and I want to go volunteer there.  I need to serve others, instead of serving myself as much as I have been. I've taken the time to heal from my experience, and now I need to try to repay all the love Heavenly Father has shown me.  By serving my fellow man.  I can't wait!

I need to pray with more purpose, and not just sit and let everything come to me.  It's not going to happen.  I need to do more than I'm doing to receive an answer.
Thanks Catharine...you are amazing, don't forget it  :)