tidbit of the day

I am slowly learning this.  You have to love yourself first, love your life first, love everything about yourself-good and bad-, before everything can make sense. I see what I want in everyone else's life and get sad that I don't have that, instead of taking my life, and creating EXACTLY what I want.  It's possible. Doable. Achievable. If I'm willing to put in the hard work. I want to learn the concept of hard work before I get too old. I don't think I quite have a grasp of it.

New Day

Well the blessing said go out and do new things, meet new people, and that is what I'm doing. Tomorrow I'm going four wheeling, shooting, and a bonfire lol!  Awesome huh.

And I found this girls blog that I work with and she had a cool little signature at the end of every post and I wanted to try it out, so we'll see how cool it looks ;)
I need to keep remembering that I love my life, and not the life i had with Marshall. I really think I'm kinda messed up. Why can't I just be blissfully happy with what I have? I really think a mission needs to happen for me.  not only am I SO EXCITED to share this gospel, I know I need to grow. I need to learn, and I need to be constantly in tune with the spirit all the time for a year and a half to help me learn myself.  I know it will be good, in all ways.

Also, as far as I know, my mission papers are into the stake pres! So hopefully  I'll get a call tomorrow!?  I don't want to wait any longer.  aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh waaaaaannnna gooo! Haha patience. Once again, I am reminded that I need to learn patience.

Time for bed, I'm so tired.
p.s. I kinda like having this blog all to myself thing. I don't have to try and write things in a way that will make people smile or whatever, it's just me. Just me :)

All About Us

Goodness gracious.
Sometimes in my blog stalking adventures, I find some really awesome stuff.
For one, I found the CUTEST blog.
IS THERE A GUY OUT THERE LIKE THAT FOR ME?!

one thing is for certain. I know I won't stop and settle until I find it.  Because I almost married someone, who it wouldn't have been that perfect.  Eternity is a long time.

This is going to be my wedding song.

I'm in LOVE with this song!!

REading their blog, and listening to this song makes me believe I can find love again.

I'm grateful for my body.

I'm watching a lifetime movie called To be fat like me. This girl needs to make a documentary at school on what it's like to be fat.  So she gets a body suit/makeup etc and starts to make it. then things come crashing down yada yada, but the point is that we judge ourselves way too much as women, and as a society against each other.

I'm just grateful for my body. I get so down on myself because I think I'm fat, I think that everyone is thinking I'm fat etc etc. IT IS A HARD ROAD TO LEAD YOURSELF DOWN ON.

We should NOT judge. We have no idea why a person is like they are.  Yes, should we all try to be the best us? Be healthy? Yes of course. But that does not give us the right to judge others on weight, especially not judging ourselves so harshly that it's all we think about.

I don't really know the point I was trying to make. I just know I am going to start appreciating myself more.  Just like the quote that goes something like,  When you think that people are always looking and judging you, think again because they're probably not.

We are all BEAUTIFUL and HANDSOME sons and daughters of God. We should love ourselves, because we are made in the most perfect image.


AAAAAND
ya know what?
That goes along with everything as well, not just body weight/image.
I look at people's blogs, and if they seem to have just this perfect life, I get sad. I honestly will let myself get down, because what they POST IN A BLOG makes me think they have this awesome life and that I'm missing out on something.  But that quote I found tonight really put it in perspective.

I am the author of MY life.

If I want to love my own life? Enjoy every part of it because it's mine, and I'm living exactly the dream I want to live?

then I have to write my own story page by page.
 ait's funny because I get sad about other's blogs and I want to know what's going on in their life so much, that I just forget to live my own.  Yes, I do believe that it's good to get ideas.  There is always new stuff to be learned and that's what makes life exciting.  And I realize that.  But I try to be the stuff I see others being so much, that I forget just how cool I am. being me. Chelsey LaVoye Baker.


It's good to learn, but I'm still me, deep down, and that will never change. All I learn only adds to me, not completely changes me into another person.


I need to start loving me, and writing my own story. love  the things I learn, but even more so, love who I am, right here, right now.

I think that's what everyone has been trying to teach me for a long time, especially Marshall.

please don't take as long as me to find this out.
wow.
love you all.

I'm. in. love. with

myself

p.s. and not in a cocky way. I'm starting to learn to really appreciate myself, and love who I am, and not always think that I am below everyone else.

the gospel of Jesus Christ

the temple

my amazing sister from anotha mista

going on a mission 

my family

dancing, performing

being silly

wearing hoods on my hoodies

quotes/sayings

the beach

dancing around in a hotel room with short shorts with your best friend

my grandparents! sorry everyone, but I have the best of the best.

Look how freakin handsome of a couple they are :)

pool time with cousins i never get to see

my new little sister...kim :)

reading for hours on end

playing in the rain

The answer is NOOO!

singing

little kids, i can't get enough

taking tons of pictures. everything is always a memory

so much more...

i will add to this.  

"If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing you are the author, and everyday you have the opportunity to write a new page."

Don't want to forget..

So I don't want to forget how I'm progressing, now being single.
so It's been almost five weeks.
the first week was actually okay. I was carried by the Spirit and I knew things were going ot be okay. Then the next three weeks hit me like a huge boulder. It was AWFUL. Noone can prepare you for something like that. I missed him so much every day. The no good morning text, etc etc. I have never questioned why so much in my whole life.  But...life still goes on. But it sucked to not have anything make me happy.
Then last week was kinda the bottom of all pits.  My heart. just. hurt. period. plain and simple.  Then i realized I was tired of being hurt. I was tired of being sad. I was tired of moping. Tired of just living day to day because, well, I have no other choice since my heart is still beating. So I decided, I was not going to be sad anymore. And ya know what? it worked.
I finally stopped moping, and realized okay, Heavenly Father wanted this. Not to just make us hurt so He could have a good chuckle. HE WOULD NOT DO THAT. I am loved way too much by Him, and so is Marshall. So obviously.......there is a greater plan and I need to start finding my way to that plan. I mean five weeks. I wouldn't necessarily say it was a wasted five weeks. i still had fun, and I really think I needed that time to be sad, because it was definitely valid. But I knew that i needed to make something of my new life now.  And I did.
This week has been so much better.  So much better. Sunday was really hard...but no sleep..it was just an exhausting weekend.  but I am HAPPY. Finally. I know in whom I have trusted.
I turned my papers into the bishop on Sunday.  YIPEE!
It's finally starting to be real.  I started studying Preach My Gospel and holy moly.  What was I even doing before when it came to spiritual matters?!  This is amazing, and I can NOT WAIT to go out there and work my freakin tail off to help people find this gospel.  I have grown so much in just this last week that I can't even imagine what is to come.
I asked my dear friend Becca why I have to learn all this in such a quick amount of time, I mean I know I am being prepared for something, but I can't even imagine what it is to involve all this stuff.
Her simple answer.

"He's preparing you for eternal life, dear."

Wow. It really just struck true. I have to know all this stuff I'm learning to be able to make it through life the best way i can. It's not just for a single even that might be coming up in my life relatively soon.  It's for life, period. Eternal and the mortal. No more just sitting on the fence. 

I hope I can live up to what He expects of me.

I NEED to try my hardest to be my best, and that's all I need to do.  

I am finally starting to learn who I am, who I want to be, and what makes Chelsey the most happy.  I thought I knew before. 

Thank you Marshall Cox, for starting that thought process, giving me a crash course in what a real, true, amazing relationship should be, such a happy crash course. 

and thanks to my Heavenly Father, who knows what I can handle, and who gave me all these lessons, and that I'm able to understand them.  

DONE.

Pretty much just finished my mission papers!  Crazy. I don't quite know what to think haha.
Talkin with the bishop tomorrow, hopefully the stake president next week, and then they're off!! :)