Don't want to forget..

So I don't want to forget how I'm progressing, now being single.
so It's been almost five weeks.
the first week was actually okay. I was carried by the Spirit and I knew things were going ot be okay. Then the next three weeks hit me like a huge boulder. It was AWFUL. Noone can prepare you for something like that. I missed him so much every day. The no good morning text, etc etc. I have never questioned why so much in my whole life.  But...life still goes on. But it sucked to not have anything make me happy.
Then last week was kinda the bottom of all pits.  My heart. just. hurt. period. plain and simple.  Then i realized I was tired of being hurt. I was tired of being sad. I was tired of moping. Tired of just living day to day because, well, I have no other choice since my heart is still beating. So I decided, I was not going to be sad anymore. And ya know what? it worked.
I finally stopped moping, and realized okay, Heavenly Father wanted this. Not to just make us hurt so He could have a good chuckle. HE WOULD NOT DO THAT. I am loved way too much by Him, and so is Marshall. So obviously.......there is a greater plan and I need to start finding my way to that plan. I mean five weeks. I wouldn't necessarily say it was a wasted five weeks. i still had fun, and I really think I needed that time to be sad, because it was definitely valid. But I knew that i needed to make something of my new life now.  And I did.
This week has been so much better.  So much better. Sunday was really hard...but no sleep..it was just an exhausting weekend.  but I am HAPPY. Finally. I know in whom I have trusted.
I turned my papers into the bishop on Sunday.  YIPEE!
It's finally starting to be real.  I started studying Preach My Gospel and holy moly.  What was I even doing before when it came to spiritual matters?!  This is amazing, and I can NOT WAIT to go out there and work my freakin tail off to help people find this gospel.  I have grown so much in just this last week that I can't even imagine what is to come.
I asked my dear friend Becca why I have to learn all this in such a quick amount of time, I mean I know I am being prepared for something, but I can't even imagine what it is to involve all this stuff.
Her simple answer.

"He's preparing you for eternal life, dear."

Wow. It really just struck true. I have to know all this stuff I'm learning to be able to make it through life the best way i can. It's not just for a single even that might be coming up in my life relatively soon.  It's for life, period. Eternal and the mortal. No more just sitting on the fence. 

I hope I can live up to what He expects of me.

I NEED to try my hardest to be my best, and that's all I need to do.  

I am finally starting to learn who I am, who I want to be, and what makes Chelsey the most happy.  I thought I knew before. 

Thank you Marshall Cox, for starting that thought process, giving me a crash course in what a real, true, amazing relationship should be, such a happy crash course. 

and thanks to my Heavenly Father, who knows what I can handle, and who gave me all these lessons, and that I'm able to understand them.