Happy Mother's Day!

I went to church today....
and I wasn't sad.
I prayed before to have the confidence to go to church today, and I was so blessed to immediately receive that.
I saw Tyler and Shalyse.  And for a split second, I almost ran away from them...I didn't want to go there. But I stopped myself and said, no. I'm just as good as they are. Marshall does not define our relationship.  And I talked to them. IT WAS SO GOOD! I finally felt like that confident self that I know I am.
I have ALWAYS put Tyler and Skylar on a pedestal.  Always thought they were so cool, and thought they would never want to talk to me, or think i was cool enough to be a friend. And then when Marshall was their best friend? I INSTANTLY put him up there too. And even though he was my boyfriend, I had no confidence. I'm actually kinda disgusted with myself that I had as little as I did. I am worth something. I am very worth something.  And I'm not any less than any of them. I just wish I would have seen this then. I definitely have learned so much from Marshall and these last ten months about myself.
Then I was talking to Brother Bennett, and how I love all the tender mercies in the form of people that i saw today.  He is so awesome, and I'm so blessed to have been in this ward, to have gotten to know all of them better.

Gosh, I'm such a lucky girl!!! 

And then tonight we're going to go to mesquite to meet mom after work to go to dinner.  I'm so lucky to have her for a mom.  She seriously is the best.  And I'm so glad she is getting stronger as well.

I love this new me.  And I feel like this one is to stay. Not that I had a good day, and feel ok with myself. but that I'm actually OK. Inside and out about who I am. I may not have all the answers yet, but I definitely feel like I'm starting to have a foundation to build on.  I have grow leaps and bounds...part of me wishes that I could date Marshall now again, like completely start over because I feel we would have a lot more fun. But I know he needed this (for some reason) and I for surely needed it, and if it comes together later, amazing, but for now I'm not doing to dwell or be sad for all I did or didn't do. I treated him the best I could, and I did put my whole heart into it and that's the best I can do.

I love all my friends.

I love my family. (family reunion in July baby!)

I just am in love. 

I know I felt this way a few posts ago and things definitely change and I know that I will probably be sad again, but how blessed I am to be able to come back to this state of mind. To feel peace. To feel whole. To feel complete. 

I have a lot to accomplish, and I know this is only preparing me for what I need to know later.

<3