Beautiful

This is what I walk outside to whenever I leave the hospital after working Mom/Baby.

How lucky am I?

It always gives a sense of hope, especially in the quiet peaceful hours of early morning.

I starting talking to Becca tonight.

God be thanked for that girl in my life.

I didn't want to explain everything over again.

I'm tired of telling the story. 

But I love talking to her, and I knew I needed to talk to her.  

She really helped me see.

God gives us answers to push us in certain directions.  Those directions might not be the end all result that we end up with. But they get us going in the right direction, until something else comes up. and if we're in tune with the spirit, then we'll know when the better opportunity comes up. 

"Be still..and know that I am God."

Psalms 46:10

I need to learn patience. I'm pretty sure that is supposed to be a major lesson out of all of this....the past year and a half of my life.  

"In your patience, possess ye your souls."

Luke 21:19

I found this actually while dating Marsh.  When you do have patience, and just live how you know you should, patience will allow you to possess your soul. To have have that complete happiness.  I can't describe how I feel what this verse means, but in my heart it makes complete sense.  

Becca said some great words of wisdom.

she said that I need to be still...to stop trying to go full force in a direction right away. take some time to learn about myself. Learn who Chelsey is. Because even with all of this? I still don't think I know, or at least appreciate who I am.  In her words, she said, "you don't have to be like everyone else. Stop trying to put yourself in a mold."

Most of the time when I get advice, I know when I need it, and when I don't.

And I definitely needed that.  I guess I try to do that. I try to be what I think everyone thinks is cool. Who everyone would like.  Etc. Etc.  

IT GETS REALLY TIRING.

Especially the days when I realize it, and then I kinda stop having fun.

I did that last night.  

Bah.

She made a list for me as we were talking.

Of all the things that I like.

It's OK for me to be who I am.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that, I need to be still and let God lead me. Even though I want to do what He wants me to do, I still need to find myself, and I'm trying to push it, make it happen too fast.  

Ha, well what does that bring us back to?

PATIENCE.

 I am just going to have fun.  And I know I will walk into my answer. I know the Lord will NOT let me down.

I need to stop thinking that I am so old, because I'm not.  

Be still. And Know that I am God.

I'm going to learn to accept myself if all times, in all situations, in everything.

Then I know I will be able to help the most people.

I'm going to stop trying to please everyone, because while it might be a quality if you use it right, in my case, it's a burden. Something I don't need to carry, or live with.

i'm going on a date tomorrow! Nothing fancy schmancy. but still.  

EEK.

We'll see what happens. I hope he doesn't ask for another one, right there.  I hate that.  so awkward. Especially since I barely met the kid.  

Thank you Heavenly Father for giving me Becca.  For her ALWAYS inspired words, and never ending love.  She seriously is like Thy mouthpiece just for me, just when I need it.  I haven't talked to her in forever, and she is right here at the right time.

Divine Intervention.

I think that is the theme for the rest of the year.

<3