Fresh Start..

So, so much has happened in the past two weeks.

-i'm not engaged anymore
-i'm going on a mission
-i have NO idea where my life is going to take me after that

Sometimes I feel really overwhelmed.  But I have felt the quiet, gentle peace of our Heavenly Father.  He loves me so much, and I can't believe I've gotten through as much as I have, and I owe it all to Him.  That first week I was carried, literally, through all the sad moments and through all the memories having to be thrown away, and then through the exciting new times to look forward to which are hard to see.
Now i'm into the second week, and it's a struggle.  I know I'm supposed to see how strong my faith really is now.  To rely on Him still, and get through the most difficult time of my life. So far, I have only succeeded a little bit.  This week has been up and down so much that I am just drained emotionally. I'm just so tired inside all the time.
But I know I have little guardian angels always with me, who always know what to say, and it's always what I need.  I'm grateful for them <3 They'll probably never know who they are.

So this blog is about me.  Time to work on myself, time to improve, and to not worry about boys, which I have done my whole life.  I don't know why Heavenly Father chose to not let Marshall and I be together, but I can't dwell on that because of all the peace and answers I have been given from it.  I need to find who I am, and make peace with myself before I can learn to truly love someone else for eternity.  It will turn into my mission blog, where hopefully my mom will be able to post all my letters, so everyone can be updated.

"God grant me the serenity 

to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 

Enjoying one moment at a time; 

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it; 

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life 

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen."

--Reinhold Niebuhr